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10/17/08 Friday 10:30am It's really strange how things have changed over the last 14 months. At the beginning I couldn't get away from the computer. So much was changing and it was amazingly therapeutic. Now I can't get myself to the computer. It's not that I don't have enough time to write, just not that much is going on. Bryson is well into school and is doing amazing. Gym class is the only remote struggle. He gets frustrated that he can't score in soccer but I told him that his daddy never scored either because I played defense and that's just as important. He's also playing kickball and is frustrated that he always gets out. Combine the evolving coordination of a 5 year old with a dominant leg that is now a prosthetic and you've got complications. Nicole was amazing and took the initiative of working with Bryson by playing kickball one evening earlier this week. We've got a ways to go yet. At the risk of this seeming like a real bummer of an update, you should see this kid tear around the house on his leg. He really is running now (two feet in stride off the ground at the same time) and running well. He's still not up to speed wiht his sister yet (his goal), but he's a lot closer now than before. Our most recent activity has been to get the kids into swim lessons after school. That's right, I said "kids". Bryson and his sisters (Reagan 3, Kennedy 2) are in the pool together. Kennedy loves being in the water, Reagan is completely immersing her head, and Bryson is pretty much flotation device free. And I don't believe I have mentioned this yet, but it is official, we did recieve an email from Ellen Tressel, Ohio State Coach Jim Tressel's wife confirming that Bryson, Nicole, and I will be attending the Ohio State/Michigan game a week after Bryson's 6th birthday in late November. Bryson is stoked (and so are mommy and daddy). Beau
I have wanted to let all of you know what has happened with Bryson and school since that first day, but the last two weeks got a little crazy. The day after I wrote the last update I did call Bryson’s teacher. She told me that she did see the incident that I spoke about in the previous update and spoke with the little boy that told Bryson he couldn’t play tag. It was very assuring to me that she saw the incident and took care of it. It did not take away the hurt, but it made me feel better about sending him to school again. Especially with kids, I have always felt like if you don’t address the situation right when it happens it won’t be as effective. After speaking with Bryson’s teacher I was sure that the little boy was not trying to be mean, but really didn’t know what Bryson could do. His teacher told me that the kids in his class were making comments during the day like “Bryson, hurry up,” and “why do we always have to wait on Bryson.” She said that she explained everything to them and I really feel like she has handled everything great. I am so glad I called his teacher and I know that he will be taken care of at school. Let’s just say I do more praying for him during the day when I think about him, but I do feel better. The next day Bryson went to school I asked him if anybody told him he couldn’t play that day and he said no. He even told me that the little boy from the previous day was nice to him that day and is now his friend. Don’t you just love kids and how quickly they get over things like this? It makes me even more thankful that his accident happened at the age he was so that he will have lots of tools to deal with these situations in the future. On the days that have followed Bryson has gotten to share with the class the children’s book he has about a kid with a prosthetic. I think this was good for him as well as for his class. He said, “Mom, now they know I can run and they even said I could dance.” A few other notes about Bryson in school: He loves Gym class!! They have walked backwards, skipped, raced, walked sideways, and learned how to do real pushups. I was impressed when Bryson did one the correct way for us at home. He also loves lunch and recess, but never eats much at lunch. He says he will never get to be the line leader, but I keep reminding him that he has only been in school about 5 times. He has told me stories about a kid spilling his milk and a kid accidentally hitting him in the head with a rock. I love all of this though because he sounds like such a normal kid with normal joys and normal complaints. It is much better than hearing about somebody telling him he can’t do something because of his leg. Oh and I did want to tell you all that since we got Bryson’s leg back from the prosthetist he has much more movement in it. It bends so easy and he is so close to actually running. You will be so impressed with him if/when you get to see him next. At first, the extra movement made him fall a lot but he seems to be getting used to it now. Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for us as parents that we deal with these situations in the right way, pray for Bryson that he reacts in the right way to these situations, and pray for the kids in the class as they learn about kids with different needs than their own. I have been reminded during this time that these hurts are important to God and feels them as real as what we feel them and probably even more. He has a son that was mocked and even beaten. If you would like to see pictures of Bryson’s first day of school you can click on this link of an album I created on my facebook. www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7120&l=a99e6&id=1181721142 Nicole
Let’s just say, I was looking forward to this day at least all summer long. I think I was even more excited than Bryson was about his first day of school. Some mothers cry when their little ones go to kindergarten the first time, but not me. I was just too excited for him to get on the bus in the morning and then for him to get off the bus afterwards telling me all about his day. The day did start out perfectly. Bryson looked handsome in his red polo shirt and plaid shorts. He had his Jimmie Johnson backpack on with his baseball lunch box inside filled with his favorite lunch. We took lots of pictures and he smiled for them all. The bus came and he was literally giddy with excitement. He got on the bus all by himself and we saw him find a seat and then he was off. Besides his sisters crying because he left and Reagan saying, “I want my Bryson back,” it was just a perfect morning. We even hopped in the van and parked across the school so we could see Bryson get off the bus and line up with his class. It was all too cute. (Hopefully, we will get some pictures posted soon of this because it was cute!) During the day my girls played so good together, took great naps, and I was able to get some work done. When I thought of Bryson during the day I prayed for him. To tell you the truth the only thing I was worried about was that he would treat his teacher and classmates nice, but that’s it because I knew he would love school. When And that’s when the perfect day ended… I don’t remember exactly how the conversation started, but it came around to this. I was trying to ask Bryson more questions about recess, like who he played with and what they played. Then he told me everybody played tag, but he didn’t. I asked him why he didn’t play tag and he said that a boy (who I won’t mention his name but he remembers) told him that he could not play. He said the boy told him he could not play because of his new leg. My heart instantly broke and even as I type this it still makes me cry and makes my heart just ache. I asked Bryson what he did then (trying to hold back the tears) and he said he didn’t play and went under the slide and played with the rocks. I asked him if anybody came to play with the rocks with him, but he said no. He said the boy was mean to him. I went on to tell Bryson what he should do the next time somebody tells him that he can’t play because of his leg and later on in the evening we practiced what he would say. You see, I am trying to handle this the right way, but I’m not sure exactly how that is. I know that I cannot protect Bryson from every mean person, but I never expected this sort of thing would happen on his first day of Kindergarten. As Beau said, “our worst fears came true today.” I guess tomorrow I will try to call his teacher and just make her aware of what went on, but I know that she can’t control everything either. I even realize that this boy probably isn’t a bad or mean boy. He probably really didn’t think Bryson could play tag. But, I’m not sure I will ever handle it very well if somebody tells me that my son can’t do something because of his leg. Later on in the evening I asked Bryson if he wanted to play tag and he said no because he can’t run with his new leg. (How quickly kids can become convinced of something!) I told him he could run with his new leg, but that he just needed to practice more. Then after playing baseball with Dad we all played a game of tag and Bryson had a ball. Please pray for me as I work up the desire to send him back to school on Wednesday. I know he will be excited to go again, but now this mother has something to worry about. Please pray for Bryson that he will learn the right way to deal with people when they tell him he can’t do something or they make fun of him. Pray for me as I talk to his teacher tomorrow. (I really just want to make her aware so that maybe she can inform the kids that Bryson can do everything they can do.) And please pray for all of us that we would heal from this hurt. We have so many positive things happen lately with Bryson’s surgery going so well and getting his prostheses back, but this is a huge bump in the road for me. To be honest, Bryson is just somber when he talks about it, but as his parents, Beau and I are crushed. All we can ask is that you continue to pray for us and if you have kids that come in contact with Bryson just inform them that he can still do the things that they do. Nicole 8/23/08 Saturday 10:00pm Columbus and back. Columbus to Wooster and back. That was Thursday and Friday and we are done. The orthopedic surgeon said that his leg looked great, see you in 3 months. The urologist took a look at Bryson's ziggy and he said he it turned out better than even he could have expected. Now it's one thing when we think his ziggy looks remarkably normal, but when the specialist who deals with these things as a career! Now the catheter is out but Bryson is still struggling with pain so much so that he dreads having to go to the restroom. We still need to keep an eye on things. As for his leg, you can tell Bryson hasn't been on it in a while. He's falling quite a bit and complains about how heavy it is. But here's the cool thing. This Monday will be Bryson's first day of school--and I can't tell you how incredibly thrilled he is to get on "Bus #17"--and we were told that for show and tell he's supposed to bring something red and you'll never guess what wants to bring...HIS LEG! How cool is that? And what an incredible way to break the ice with this classmates about his leg. On Friday night, Bryson and I closed the night the same way we always do. After bath, teeth, and pjs, we read our Bible and close in prayer. Now you have to understand, Bryson has his prayer scripted from beginning to end which includes his extended family (parents, sisters, grandparents, uncles, and cousins...and himself), James Laurenaitis (Ohio State football player who visited him at the hospital), and Jimmy Johnson (his favorite NASCAR driver whose team my uncle works for)...EVERY NIGHT! Included in this prayer, he prays for his leg and ziggy to get better. When we got to the point about his ziggy, I stopped and said "Bryson, we don't have to pray for your ziggy to get better anymore. It is better. Tonight we need to say 'Thank you' to Jesus for making your ziggy better." Bryson got a big smile on his face, closed his eyes and said, "and thank you, Jesus, for making my ziggy better." Maybe he still doesn't quite get the fullness of what all has happend this past year--how God's hand has been on him. But at least he's got a taste. Beau 8/17/08 Sunday 11:30pm I was sitting at a small round table. Music surrounded me as a man with a guitar led the group in some singing at our local coffee house. Every so often I would break out into singing as I sat reviewin my notes. In a few minutes I was going to teach the Bible lesson for the local young adult worship service. One song ended and the next song began and the following words were sung: As I sung those words my song got louder and louder as I reflected on God's amazing love that he has shown me. I looked at my watch...and my song stopped. It was 8:20...and I couldn't stop crying. It was almost exactly 1 year ago to the moment that I saw my boy with two legs for the last time. It had been months since I shed a tear, a few months more that I last relived that evening, and a month or two longer that I sobbed uncontrollably. I stopped singing and sliped into a back room to try to gather myself before I shared with the gatherd crowd of worshippers. But since I couldn't keep my eyes of my watch, I couldn't stop crying. 8:25. Was I bathing my girls? 8:30. Here comes my brother-in-law screaming down the hallway...my life is no longer the same. As returned to the back table, awaiting my time to teach, I relieved every moment: every horrific, terrifying...beautiful moment. My lesson was scrapped and a testimony ensued. As I sat before the crowed of silent young adults who no doubt felt awkward seeing my bloodshot eyes and wet face from tears, I began with this statement of Jesus in Matthew 28:20 - "I am with you always, even to the end of the age." That has been my year. I tell everyone who asks that this has been the most difficult and, at the same time, the most WONDERFUL year of my life. I've seen tragedy and I've seen God at work. Though the 1 hour drive from Marion General Hospital to Columbus Childrens was the longest, loneliest ride as my wife was with my son above being life-flighted. It was petrifying sitting in the corner of the waiting room crying over the decision to have Bryson's leg cut off. It was absolute misery after telling the doctors to cut off my boy's leg. It was an extended moment of feeling forsaken trying futily to sleep on the cramped couch in the PICU though completely exhausted. It was painful watching nurses again and again poking and prodding Bryson with needles and him scream at his physical therapist as they tried to get him to stand with a walker. But never once were we alone. Through this tragedy, God has done some amazing things. He has shown me that where there is undying love, there is nothing anyone can do to pull a marriage or family apart. Nicole and I and our entire extended family has grown closer than ever before. He's shown me how important the church is and how incredibly helpless we would have felt without their support when at 1am that first night 5 of our good friends from church found babysitters in the middle of the night and made the 2 hour trip just to be with us for an hour and the emails we still get from people we never met expressing encouragment and prayer support. God's shown how he can take horrific circumstances and use them to change lives such as through this website with around 800,000 hits, and over 300,000 the first week from locations worldwide. And that Bryson's story can be used in Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel's new book on page 26 and 27 (though never mentioning his name exactly) allowing thousands of readers to see how reaching out to people in need not only changes the lives of those people, but your life as well. God has proved Himself true when He promised in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that I'd "never be tempted beyond what [I] can bear." Had you asked me last year if I could handle holding my sons bleeding leg together or found strength to face the uncertain future of my son and his ability to function athletically, be made fun of at school, whether or not he'd ever have kids, I would have guaranteed you I couldn't do it...but that hasn't been the case. As I shared my story with that crowd at the cafe, I professed that though I stopped singing of God's love the moment I began reliving the accident, it was but for a moment. I will continue to sing of God's love both for the rest of my life and for all of eternity since death will only seperated me from those I love for a short time but will never seperate me from my God. So with much gratitude I say to all who are reading this: Thank you. Thank you for reading, praying, loving, and encouraging. But I hope that through these updates and events of the past year, you've not become near as enamored with Bryson or our family as you have with the God of the universe who not only created you but is walking with you each day with an undying, unshakable, unconditional love. Thanks to you for your support. THANKS TO GOD FOR HIS LOVE. Beau Sunday 8/10/08 2:30pm Surgery went great! At 7:30am Thursday morning we were on the road...9:30 at the hospital...12:00pm he went into surgery, and at 3:30 (yes, 3.5 hours later) Bryson emerged with a repaired ziggy. It took the boy quite a while to recover so we could return home. Bryson was absolutely exhaused and, once awake, he tried so hard to to take the medicine (I mean we tried hard) and to keep his pop down. All these variables combined and we didn't leave the hospital till around 6:30pm. His first night at home went incredibly well, in part because we were able to get his medicine in pill form which we crushed and slipped into his pop, koolade, or applesauce...not that we were super successfu, just successful enough. Night 2 was a different story, though. Between the hours of 1-3am. Bryson was up three times SCREAMING from the pain. We were finally able to subdue him the third time and get him to drink some spiked Diet Coke (spiked with his meds...what kind of father do you think I am?). So heres the plan from here on out. A week from Thursday, Bryson has an 8:15 appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to see how his leg is healing. (During the surgery they took out that stitch that continues to get infected.) Friday, then, Nicole will take Bryson to Columbus to see the urologist at which time he will get his catheter. Then Bryson will head up to Wooster to get his prosthesis back--the leg was damaged on our tip to the beach where it got salt water and sand in it, causing it to no longer be able to bend. The good new is we arranged Bryson's follow-ups so that he wouldn't miss Kindergarden orientation on Wednesday. The bad news is he will miss the first day of Kindergarden on Friday...so much for perfect attendance :) Thanks so much for your prayers...the boy is doing so well. Wednesday, August 6 4:00 pm Bryson has surgury on his penis tomorrow morning. Please keep him in your prayers throughout the day. Tuesday 7/22/08 11:30pm As my wife frantically tries to get ahead on her work, get laundry done, and get our bags packed before we head off on vacation tomorrow afternoon, it's due time to clue you in on what's been happening and what will be happening here very soon. Bryson finished up his second set of swimming lessons a few weeks ago and exceeded our wildest imaginations. When I told an outspoken 7 year old boy that Bryson was swimming, he asked, "What does Bryson do, swim in circles?" O, he does so much more. By the end of his lessons, Bryson was swimming the length of the pool (25 yards) twice without any type of floatation device. Needless to say, this amazing kid is being promoted to the next level of classes. We've been having so much fun with him this summer. He's constantly active outside and when outside he's got a one track mind. "Let's play baseball." "Can we play baseball." "Mom, dad won't play baseball with me." This is all we ever hear! He's learning to hit a pitched baseball from about 15 feet away (though the ball has to be pitched toward his bat) and is learning to catch a baseball (though the ball has to be thrown in the general vicinity of his glove). But he just glows (and so does his daddy). This morning, Nicole made a quick trip to Columbus (well, not really quick) with Bryson to see Dr. Kean, our orthopedic surgeon, to check on that infected stitch in his residual limb. Here's the plan, Bryson goes in for his penis reconstruction surgery on August 7. Either Dr. Kean, one of his associates, or Dr. Alpert (who is doing the reconstruction) will do the quick 1 minute procedure of removing that infected stitch. Which brings us to the last and most important part of this update. Please, if you could, begin praying for Bryson as he prepares for surgery in a little over 2 weeks and that he might be healed up in time for school to start. And pray for Nicole and I as we learn to move ahead with Bryson wearning a catheter for the following week or two. Thanks so much. Beau Monday 6/23/08 11:00pm A few things to catch you all up on. Last Friday we did double duty on our trip to Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus. By 11:45 we were at the urologist's office. We sat there for a good 45 minutes before seeing the doctor, so the two of us sat looking out of the 6th story window playing I spy...FOREVER. Finally Dr. Alpert took a look at Bryson's ziggy and was pleased with how well it had healed over the past 10 months. When we finished, I filled out some pre-surgery paperwork and was told to expect a phone call this week to line up a surgery to repair Bryson's penis for the end of August/first of September. Needless to say, they called today while Nicole and I were both out of the house. So by tomorrow night we should know what's going on. At 12:55pm, Bryson and I tore out of the office, hurried down the elevator, ran to car (with Bryson on my shoulders), and made the less than 1 mile trek to the orthopedic surgeons office for our 1pm appointment. The point of the appointment was just to have Dr. Keane check out Bryson's leg to see if the infection on Bryson's leg was healing ok because, frankly, we couldn't tell. As far as he could tell, the doctor seemed to think the leg was healing well. He said that in 2-3 weeks, if the infection which appeared as a bump, hadn't completely disappeared, to let him know so that when Bryson goes in for his surgery, Dr. Keane could slip in to clean out the infection. I'll let you know as soon as I have more information for Bryson's upcoming surgery. Beau
As we approach the summer I am beginning to feel like the nightmare of this past year is over. I would say we have accepted the life which God has chosen for us to go down now and so we keep moving forward. Still not preferring this path that God has led us on, but knowing now more than ever before that he is on that path with us and will fulfill his purpose through it. Like many of you we are busy just living life right now. Busy with swim lessons, gardening, preparing for vacation, graduation parties, Vacation Bible school starting, and just enjoying life outdoors. The wonderful part is not being so busy with appointments right now. We have a PT appointment scheduled in June, a Urology appointment in July, surgery in August, and an orthopedic appointment in Oct, but from what we have come from this year that seems very doable! So, about Bryson’s leg…the infected spot on his leg is slowly healing right now and so Bryson does not get to wear his prosthetic. The other day Bryson was upset because I wouldn’t let him wear his leg. He was whining, “I can’t play baseball with one leg, you need two to do that.” His reaction made me both happy and sad. Sad that we couldn’t put the leg on him, but happy that he sees the benefit of his prosthetic and the boy who used to cry when we put it on him is now asking for it. I am hoping by the end of the week his leg will be totally healed and that he can start wearing his prosthetic again. This would be a prayer request for him. A special moment happened the other day after swim lessons. One of the little boys in Bryson’s class asked him where his leg was. I think the boy’s mother was a little embarrassed by her son’s question but I assured her it was fine. Bryson didn’t hear the boy so I told Bryson to come back and tell the boy what happened to his leg. Bryson said, “My leg is in heaven.” I was so amazed by Bryson’s response and was thrilled that some of the things we have been trying to tell him must be sinking in. When Bryson used to ask for his old leg back we told him that when he got to heaven that Jesus would give him his old leg back. Bryson did proceed to tell the boy all of the details of his accident – probably too much and I hope he didn’t scare the boy to death. Another neat thing happened after that conversation. The boy’s mom told me that her church in his A couple of weeks ago I got to share Bryson’s story and the things God was teaching me through all of this at a Mother and Daughter Banquet at the church I grew up in. The theme of the banquet was God’s surprises. My aunt asked me to sing a song after I spoke and the words really spoke to me. I would love to leave you with the words of this song and maybe it will mean something to you. The song is called “God speaking” and is off of Mandisa’s CD. (You can listen to the song online if you want to on her website.) Have you ever heard a love song that set your spirit free? Have you ever watched a sunrise and felt you could not breathe? What if it’s Him? What if it’s God speaking? Have you ever cried a tear that you could not explain? Have you ever met a stranger who already knew your name? What if it’s Him? What if it’s God speaking? Chorus: Who knows how He’ll get ahold of us? Get our attention to prove He is enough? He’ll do and He’ll use whatever He wants to To tell us, “I love you.” Have you ever lost a loved one who you thought should still be here? Do you know what it feels like to be tangled up in fear? (side note: this is me!) What if He’s somehow involved? What if He’s speaking through it all? Chorus His ways are higher. His ways are better. Though sometimes strange What could be stranger than God in a manager? Who knows how He’ll get ahold of you? Get your attention to prove He is enough? He’ll do and He’ll use whatever he wants to To tell us, “I love you.” God is speaking, “I love you.” I have really felt God’s love throughout all of this and realize more and more how much other people need to feel His love. May you feel God speaking, “I love you” to you today. Nicole Sunday 5/18/ Last summer Bryson was growing so much and the thing he loved the most...without questions...was swimming. A lot has changed since last summer...BUT NOT HIS ABILITY TO SWIM! Last Monday we took Bryson to his first swimming lessons at the Wooster YMCA. We struggled at first with some decisions related to group or private lessons and what level? We just didn't know how much he might have regressed because of the leg loss. Well, we picked the right level and we chose well in getting group lessons. Nicole took him to his first two last week. From the two lessons, I only remember one story...and it's the best one. At the end of the lesson last Wednesday, the instructor wanted all the kids to take turns going off the diving board. The first time off, the instructor took Bryson (as they did with all the kids) to the end of the board and lowered him into the water. The next time they were on their own. Bryson climbed up the ladder and slowly made his way to the end of the board where he sat down...too terrified to jump in. That's when came just the motivation from mom he needed: "Bryson, you're supposed to listen to your instructor. If you don't listen you your instructor and jump in, no more swim lessons." (My wife has such a way with words:) After jumping in all by himself, and surfacing again (he wears a floating device around his waist), he yelled out, "I want to do it again, and again, and again." Three more times he crawls up the ladder and took off hopping down the diving board...it was quite a sight. The board was at least He's so excited about going to swim lessons again tomorrow. We've had an appointment with our plastic surgeon since last I wrote. He thought everything looked good for the most part. There is a place on his leg where a stitch was left in from a previous surgery. It has never been a problem and no doctor really paid any attention to it saying it would eventually dissolve. Now, a good five months after the procedure, the area around the stitch is infected. It looks like a massive zit the size of a pea and it's becoming painful for Bryson. So Tuesday morning, Nicole will be taking the boy to see the orthopedic surgeon to take care of it. It's not a major procedure...it's not even a surgery. He's just going to the doctor's office to have it taken care of...I just hope it's not too painful of a process...definitely worth your prayers. Beau Alright already here's an update! BRYSON IS AMAZING! Seriously, there is really nothing he can't do with this new leg of his. He's up and down stairs on his own. We play baseball outside and he walks really fast around the base path after each hit. As long as he can maintain his balance after each swing, he's regained his sweet golf swing. When at Grandma and Grandpa Humme's house, he plays basketball and when at the Osborne's you'll always, ALWAYS, find him playing ping pong with papa. And when all is said and done, he pops that leg off all by himself. It's still an adjustment for us all, though. Oddly, it's a tough adjustment for me to remember that when we go to the store, he can walk and doesn't have to be strapped into a cart. Bryson's one frustration is that Reagan can beat the snot out of him, take off running, and he can't catch her yet. A few weeks ago Bryson had an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. The result: his leg is doing great. As the doctor predicted, Bryson's femur is trying to grow which, in a while will require another surgery to smooth things over. That is nowhere in the near future. Just come back in six months was all Dr. Kean asked. On the physical therapy front, there's really little more that needs to be said than I really only need to see him once a month. Oh, she also said we really need to look into getting Bryson an athletic leg because he's so active. During the next month or so we'll get in touch with our prosthetic and insurance companies and let you know what we find. And when it comes to athletic legs, have you seen the latest issue of ESPN the Magazine? On the cover is a picture of a little league player with TWO prosthetic legs and the feature article has picture after picture of bionic athletes, encouraging to say the least! Last of all, Nicole and I would like you to pray for someone a friend of our sister-in-law brought to our attention. Last Tuesday, Jadelyn Kendall, a 5 year old girl from the Beau 4/12/08 Saturday 2:30pm I've been wanting to write this for 3 days now! It's so exciting! Wednesday at 3pm Bryson had his first physical therapy session at Akron Children's Hospital. When our therapist Meghan finally arrived, we got Bryson up with his walker and made our way to the PT area which was filled with balls and games. During the walker walk of about 150 feet, Meghan kept commenting on how good Bryson was doing and asking how long he's had his leg. When we arrived in the PT area, Meghan took Bryson's leg off and checked his residual limb and had Bryson do some flexibility and strength testing to see what she was working with. "Do you want to play soccer?" she asked Bryson. I hesitated thinking this kid harly can walk. He maybe took 4 steps at a time the day before, but nothing more. I hesitated...Bryson didn't. "SURE!" She got him up on his feet, sat a beach ball in front of him. Bryson wound up and took a swipe with his new leg...and pulled off a great kick. He couldn't regain his balance and tumbled to the floor. We were distracted from the big smile on his face when Meghan said, "I think I'm going to cry. He's doing so well." After 10 minutes of soccer, they tried a flight of 5 steps which Bryson easily made his way up and down holding merely the handrail. Next, it was down a ramp about 15 feet long. Bryson struggled contolling his leg down the slope which Meghan told us should be expected...but up the slope was no problem. In a nutshell, Meghan was in awe with what she saw. "I didn't know what to expect," she said. I just figured we'd be starting on the parallel bars today learning how to take steps. For only five days with a leg, BRYSON IS MONTHS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE!" Yeah, you heard me, MONTHS, not days or weeks. So when it came to scheduling, we were stunned to hear that she didn't want therapy 2-3 times a week but once every other week! (I'm still stunned to be writing this.) What she said is that Bryson doesn't need any special training, he just needs to get use to feeling his leg on different surfaces. "Get him elbow pads, knee pads, and a helmet and let him walk on different surfaces." MONTHS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE! God is good. Beau 4/4/08 Friday 7:15pm This entire week we've been preparing Bryson for Friday. Since Monday or Tuesday we've been asking, "What happens on Friday Bryson?" He soon got the answer of "I'll get my new leg" down pat and eventually expressed sincere excitement about getting the leg. But with little hesitation, he would always...and I mean ALWAYS...follow up the answer with, "But it's blue like Michigan. We don't like Michigan. I want a red leg." We had been planning our strategy for what we were going to do about that blue leg. You must understand, he was really concerned! We mentioned our concern to the doctor who said he'd attempt to find a red piece but made no promises. Frankly, we weren't even sure he remembered. So in preparation for a blue leg, we suggested everything from paint, to stickers, to tape. So you can imagine the pure joy that filled Bryson's eyes as the doctor opened up the door with Bryson's leg in hand and Bryson IMMEDIATELY notice and screamed out, "IT'S RED! IT'S RED!" Bryson lept off Nicole's lap and took off hopping down the hall behind the doctor to the exam room to get his leg. What a relief Nicole and I to see how incredibly excited he was. When we got into the room, the expected happened. As the doctor prepared to put the tight gel wrap on Bryson's leg, Bryson flipped out. He remembered how tight it was from the past and even though he spoke calmly about it on the ride up, the tears flowed and shrill screams filled the office. After convincing Bryson to let Nicole put the wrap on, the agony continued. Nicole took Bryson on her lap and got out an activity book for Bryson to play with stickers to get his mind off the wrap. The wrap isn't painful, it's just tight and, in Bryson's case, different than what he's use to. And different is incredibly hard for a boy who lives by routine. And in the case of a prosthesis, tight is important. Tight helps his residual limb fit properly in his new leg so that his leg won't hurt and so his leg doesn't spin around. It's just a matter of becoming use to it. Finally, with the leg completely on, it didn't' take a moment for him to want to walk. First he had to pull his pants up over the leg. We tried to get him to do it but it was understandably difficult...especially since he can't point the toes on his new leg (they're constructed in an immoveable 90 degree angle). But with leg on and pants up, he once again took steps with the help of the doctor. After a quick lesson on how to care for the leg...actually, there's really nothing to caring for the leg itself which is built to handle almost anything from water to dirt and sand (great for any kid) but we do need to clean out his gel wrap in the bath with him each night...we went took him to the van. When we sat him in the van, Nicole asked Bryson if he could bend his leg so it wasn't sticking straight out . Bryson whacked his leg with his hand making it fall limp and said, "Sure." Nicole and I just had to laugh. We followed with trip to Wal-Mart to get his bribe...er...surprise for being good. (That would be one more car to his monstrous collection of vehicles from the Disney/Pixar movie CARS.) After he handed his car to the cashier, I had to giggle as he called out to this cashier-in-training, "Look at my new leg," as he pulled up his pants. What was I supposed to do? I knew how proud my son was and I knew how uncomfortably is 19-year-old-ish boy was going to be...so I looked the cashier in the eyes and said, "My son wants you to look at his leg." Let's just say he was a wee bit uncomfortable. After a glance, he just gave me the price as though nothing had happen. I was so afraid Bryson was going to demand that he look at his leg again and make a comment, but once he got the car in his hands, his mind raced off to Radiator Springs (the name of the town in the movie). Several months ago I watched a fundraiser type show/30 minute commercial for St. Jude Hospital where the were showing a 10 year old boy take his first steps with his prosthetic leg. I just sobbed and said to my parents who were sitting in the room with me, "I just know I'm going to cry when Bryson takes his first steps. You know what (and those of you who know me best...especially students in my youth group...aren't going to believe this), I didn't shed one tear. I can't because I'm so proud of that boy. It's now almost 7:15, 4 hours since he put his leg on, and he STILL hasn't taken it off. He's so proud of it (primarily because it's Ohio State Buckeye red) and beams and he walks around Nicole's parents house with a walker. I can't even get mad at him when, while sitting in the van, he tries to reach across the aisle to kick his sister with his new leg...it's actually incredibly funny because even with a real leg, there is no way he could reach his right leg across the aisle on his left to get Reagan. I'm just excited because it's already becoming a part of him. His leg by no means defines who he is, but it is unquestionably shaping the man he's becoming. Thank you so so much to all of you who are part of our immediate and extended family, Walnut Creek Mennonite Church family, extended church family, blog family who've been praying for us as we approached this moment. Thanks also to the many of you who are a part of our blog family who've been offering up prayers a God that you're not even sure exists or whom you even believe in...because I know He hears you. I just hope someday each of you gets to meet this boy in person because the love you see in his eyes is no fluke, no accident, and not even the result of good parenting (we've had our share to deal with, too)...he is the result of the work of God in the world. God's work is not yet finished in Bryson...physically as we begin waking up each day to try to convince him to put his leg back on and as we begin physical therapy next Wednesday afternoon (3pm) and spiritually has Bryson discovers the infinite love of Jesus who died for Bryson so there would be a purpose to his life that not only superceds the loss of a limb, but is infinitely enhanced by a perceived disability. You're prayers are treasures...as is Bryson and all of you Creator of the world and His Son, Jesus. Beau 3/20/08 Thursday 12:00pm Friday 3/14/08 3:00pm "Were you strugglin' there, Beau?" Nicole asked. "What did you expect?" I responded. BRYSON TOOK HIS FIRST STEPS! So things began in traumatic fashion. As we walked in the room, there sat the leg standing all by itself in the middle of the floor. "Are are you scared?" Nicole asked Bryson. "No, I'm just really nervous." Putting the sleeve on once again which is incredibly tight enticed the screams--not just sobs, screams--from Bryson. Once he got calmed down and comfortable a few minutes later, on went the leg...and on went the screams, again. He was scared, but also uncomfortable. When the leg went on initially, the plastic upper part of the leg was too large so it was putting pressure on his "ziggy." After the fitting and a few more measurements, the doctor left the room to trim the plastic down. And when he returned again, on went the leg and then the doctor uttered the most nerve-wracking question of all: "Do you want to try to walk?" "SURE!" Up went Bryson and with the aid of the doctor, small steps began. Bryson's first problem was the huge concern that his right shoe wasn't lighting up! He was concerned it was the wrong shoe, but he just wasn't putting any pressure on that foot. But when he got the shoe lit up, he got new life and on with more steps. And then a new discovery....getting the knee to bend...that's a whole different skill in itself and as I'm trying to write this I can't really recall in order to tell you. 10 minutes of steps and huge smiles. O, another problem: the metal part of the leg itself (check out the picture and see if you can tell what the problem is). Yup...it's blue. It's a MICHIGAN leg. Needless to say, the doctor will be looking for a red one or, worst case scenerio, we'll just take some sandpaper to it and make the leg silver. (These are important things to our boy...he pointed it out himself!) So here are the next steps: In a week in a half the leg will be ready to take home. The current plastic top is actually just the mold that will be used to make a much softer and more flexible plastic top in order to provide maximum comfort with sufficient support. Then we'll begin the therapy. Where at? We aren't sure yet...but we'll keep you informed. But celebrate with us today...I hope your smile is as big as Bryson's was. Beau
3/13/08 Thursday 5:30pm
Surprise for us We were a little bummed last week because we did not have an appointment made for Bryson to be fitted for his prosthetic. We were even more bummed that we could not get his next appointment scheduled until next Friday. Well today we were surprised. The prosthetic company asked us if we could do Bryson’s appointment tomorrow morning. I have been blessed with a mother-in-law who will be able to watch the girls on a moments notice like this and so we will be going to the appointment tomorrow morning. Oddly enough, for tomorrow’s appointment it will be a little weird because we will be taking Bryson’s other shoe to the appointment. The hope is that they will be able to get Bryson standing up on both legs. I am excited about this appointment, but at the same time extremely nervous. I am not unlike any other mother who does not like to see her child in tears because they are scared or because something hurts and not be able to do anything about it. Please pray for us as we go to this appointment. Pray that Bryson would be relaxed about the appointment, pray that God would give me the right words tonight as I try to explain to Bryson what his appointment will be like, pray that the uncomfortable feelings or pain that the prosthetic may cause will not outweigh the excitement Bryson feels about walking, pray that Beau and I will know how to act and react to the appointment tomorrow, and pray that the doctor ( I am not really sure of his official term, but to Bryson he is a “doctor”) will have wisdom as he deals with Bryson and tries to fit the prosthetic on Bryson. Someone asked recently about the girls so here is a short update on them. The girls are doing great. We finally have Reagan potty trained which is a huge benefit to our wallet! The girls don’t treat Bryson as though he is handicapped in anyway. Unfortunately Reagan sometimes uses it to her advantage. If he is hopping away from her with a toy that he has taken from her she simply pushes him down. She also though is the first one to go and get something for him if he asks. It may bother some of you that she pushes him, but I am glad we are at the point in our family again where they can act like brother and sister: play, tease, sometimes fight, and love each other. Kennedy well her biggest trick was climbing out of the crib, so now she has joined her sister in the girls room and they each have their own twin bed. It is too cute – sometimes. I say sometimes, because we haven’t figured out the trick yet to keeping them both in their beds instead of playing all night and from turning on the light and waking the other one up. After going through what we went through last summer though, these are all good problems to have. As far as spiritually goes for me here is where I am at. I am sure glad I have a whole host of people lifting our family up in prayer, because most of the time I struggle with that. I have no problem whispering quick prayers for others who are in need, but it is still hard to pray for my family. The other day I walked alone outside and decided that God & I would have a talk the whole way and it was the same thing again. I remember what happened during the accident, I tell God that I sure wished He would have healed Bryson, I assure God that I know He has a reason and that I know that I may never know the reason (as if He needs that assurance), but that I need to really feel His presence during all of this. Right now in my prayer life I have a hard time getting passed these conversations with God to talk about anything else. For me you could pray that God will help me except our circumstances, that I would feel more of His presence. I am sure He is ready for me to talk about something else or at least for me to stop talking and do more listening. J Nicole SundayTonight Nicole and I were working through our plans for this week when she asked me if we've heard back yet from Yanke Bionics about another appointment this week followed by the haunting question, "Did you do an update for our last appointment?" In another 10 minutes when this is over, I can give a yes. Last Tuesday morning we had our first real appointment with our prosthetic company...it wasn't fun. With the newness and strangeness of each new situation, every small detail is a HUGE deal for Bryson. This appointment was about one thing and one thing only. Underneath the plastic shell that he'll eventually put his leg in, there will be two other layers. Under the plastic will be something that is comparable to a thin sock and beneath that is a...well...a thing. (I'll try my best to describe it because I really don't know what it is called.) This "thing" is a very elastic tube that will fit snugly around Bryson's leg and eventually stretch to shape around his leg. It is closed on the bottom end with a piece of plastic that will eventually attach to the prosthetic. Now, inside this tube is anywhere between 1/4 and 1/2 inches of a sold gel-like substance with the thicker layers on the area of new skin. (Imagine making jello without adding a ton of water--it's wiggly, soft, but it's not going to fall apart.) The purpose is added comfort and protection for his leg. It comes in one size, so the doctor had to squeeze it on to Bryson's leg, mark it, take it off, cut it, put it on, mark it again, take it off, mark it, and put it on one last time to confirm the fitting. I know it doesn't seem like much--that's all the doctor did...for the entire hour--but the poor boy was traumatized. The fact that is the first time that anything more than an ace bandage had been on his leg (and that's be over a month ago, brought him to screams. We tried to distract him by playing games and bribing him with a gift if he was good but nothing worked. He just needed to be held and work through the change as this will be the first step each and every morning when he wakes up. But by the end of our time, he was wearing the tube and joking with the doctor. He even left with initiating a hug with the doctor. First steps. Next appointment, we'll be adding the clear plastic cover over Bryson's thigh which the doctor will eventually mold and if all the pieces are in (specifically the foot that has to be specially ordered), he might even get to stand. I'll fill you in sooner next time. Beau
2/23/08 Saturday 1:00pm I promised I'd get out an update Wednesday night/Thursday morning...I'm a little off and I apologize. Wednesday we had a great appointment with the urologist. First off, from the time we got to the hospital and returned to our vehicle, it was only 40 minutes (that in itself is a lot to get excited about) AND after all these trips, we just discovered a handicapped parking section right beside the entrance so we don't have to fight our way through the parking garage. (Little victories are so good to come by!) But for the news related to the appointment. Dr. Alpert and an associate of his examined Bryson as our boy was distracted by a movie. (GENIUS!) They brought a flat screen tv with a VHS player into the room and, as they examined his privates, Bryson was a gem. We did notice, though, that he has a new nervous habit. He never screamed, never complained to the doctors, but when he got nervous, he started playing with his residual limb. After a very brief exam, and the initial "things are looking really good" (which we don't take lightly), the doctor told us that he didn't want to perform the surgery until about one year from the accident to make sure all the swelling and inflammation was down. So we are to come for another check-up in June and from then we will set up a surgery in August or September. The surgery will either be outpatient or result in a one night stay which sure beats the week-long stay we assumed would be the result. The final thing he said was that he'd like to promise that this would be the only reconstruction surgery Bryson would have to experience, but he said he couldn't promise us it would be but he also said he couldn't promise us it wouldn't be. It could be the only procedure, but we won't know for years to come. He said with Bryson's growth and the stretching of skin, there is always a possibility 5/ 10/ 20 years from now that a hole, a leak might form which will result in another surgery. Us non-doctors can be amazing. With limited information are so good at developing our own diagnoses which can either make us made when the doctors say it's worse than we thought or happy when it's not as severe as we originally considered. I'm no physician. Science was my most difficult subject all through high school, yet I always thought the initial procedure would leave Bryson in the hospital for a week. And with all my medical knowledge, I just assumed it would take several if not many surgeries to reconstruct his "ziggy." It's hard to get a grasp around our limitations and it's pretty easy to, ultimately, hand it over to doctors who, though they are well schooled, still have just a finite grasp of the workings of the human body. If I'm so quick to turn things over to doctors who have a finite grasp of the human body, then why do I--why do any of us--struggle to hand things over to God who has an infinite understanding of the body because "He [God] created us, and we are His"? (Psalm 100:3) "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:9) It's a good thing. I'll put my trust in You. Beau 2/19/08 Tuesday 10:15pm I'll make this one quick because there will probably be a whole lot more to write about tomorrow. Tomorrow morning at 9am, Nicole and I will being heading to Nationwide Children's Hospital with Bryson for an 11am appointment with his urologist. Actually, Bryson's "ziggy" doctor, Dr. Alpert, is actually brining in another urology special since Dr. Alpert has never seen a case so severe. At that appointment, if I remember correctly, they will determine one of two things: they will either set up two procedures where they will put Bryson under once to scope his privates and another time to perform the actual reconstruction or they will put him under once and do both procedures at one time. You'll get an update tomorrow evening...and your prayers are coveted. Needless to say, for Bryson, this will probably be a very uncomfortable (though not necessarily painful) appointment. Beau
I know it has been awhile since our last update, but really not much has been happening as far as Bryson is concerned and for that we are grateful. As far as the rest of us are concerned: Beau and I are busy doing the parenting thing and church things, Reagan is busy doing the potty training thing, and Kennedy is just busy doing her own thing.(that’s mainly trying to keep from getting tackled by her brother and trying to keep her sister from taking her toys.) Last week I had a few good reminders. My grandma Kennedy passed away last Wed on her 86th birthday. She had been very sick for awhile, but she was a Christian. I was reminded that as Christians we have heaven to look forward to and with that we know that our bodies and minds will be made perfect. If you knew my grandma and you know Bryson, then you’ll know how meaningful that is. Now I am updating you mainly as a prayer request and here it is. Tomorrow I will be taking Bryson to the Urologist at Nationwide Children’s hospital. There will be two doctors taking a very good look at Bryson, doing some measuring, and probably alot of pushing things around. I am nervous about Bryson’s reaction to all of this even though I have warned him. He is usually okay with doctors looking at him, but not so okay with doctors touching him. Pray that things will go smoothly in the appointment, that the doctors minds would be clear as to what they need to do in the surgery, and that we will get more details about the surgery. Thank you! Nicole
2/7/08 Thursday 12:15am "I know all you need and will give you all you need if you keep My commands and make the Kingdom your priority. So why worry about tomorrow...there is enough to worry about today." God has provided. This morning I received a phone call and found in my mail box a letter from the Bureau for Children with Medical Handicaps (BCMH) saying we've officially been approved...GOD IS GOOD! Ok, so we don't know where the money is going to come from for Bryson's medical needs after he turns twenty, but from August 17 last year, the day of the accident until the same date this year, everything is paid. Each year we keep applying until he turns 20, so as long as the church doesn't push my salary anywhere near the $100,000 mark (heavy on the sarcasm), we should be okay for the next 15 years. Also, Tuesday morning we visited a prosthetic company and determine on the spot that we were going with them: Yanke Bionics. He measured up Bryson's leg and said we'd be coming back once a week for the next 4 weeks until Bryson leaves with a leg and begins physical therapy. We're that close! Also, I got a phone call from the Urolgist's office. Dr. Alpert is out of town but once he returns next week, we'll get info on the next step which is either a scope or a scope and surgical procedure at the same time. Jesus' words or true, He does know all we need and is willing to give it...we just hope to keep up our end of the deal and obey Him, making the work of telling the world how desperately Jesus loves them--enough to die for them--keeping the Kingdom our priority. Beau
1/29/08 Tuesday 1:00pm GOOD NEWS!!! Bryson got done with his appointment with the orthopedic surgeon and his final words were (in a manner of speaking and in a much more professional way): Go get a leg! That's right: for the last month we've believed his bones were trying to regrow again and the membrane was pushing through the skin. It's so good to be wrong! The orthopedic surgeon said that it was just his bones so he's ready for a prosthetic. So here's the plan: 1. Nicole will call the urologist and let him know surgery isn't needed on Bryson's leg so we can move ahead with surgery on his ziggy. If I'm not mistaken, it will begin with an outpatient procedure where they will scope it out and see how things are healing on the inside. 2. We'll set an appointment with Yanke Orthodics to meet the doctor that would work with Bryson if we'd go with that company. (This could have been done a few months ago. I'll take the fall for this one.) 3. CHOOSE A COMPANY AND GET BRYSON BACK ON TWO FEET! It's hard to believe I'm saying that. That will be followed by physical therapy probably in I really hope you all can sense my joy (our joy if you could have heard Nicole on the phone) and share in our celebration. There is so much work ahead, but the work can now begin a lot sooner than we recently expected. Beau 1/15/08 Tuesday 9:45pm I'll make it quick because I REALLY want to go to bed. I was tired when this morning began, and after spending an hour out in the snow with my kids, I'm ready to crash. There is one issue you need to be updated on. Last Friday, Nicole took Bryson to see the "ziggy" doctor...the urologist. Here's the update. First, he said things were healing really well and then went on to give Nicole an explanation as to why he's done nothing surgically to this point. He informed us that he will never perform a surgery until 6-8 months after the previous surgery because it takes that long for the swelling to go down in the genital region. Now that we're reaching that point, he's going to begin by trying to get into Bryson's next surgery to remove the newly growing membrane on his leg and, while Bryson is under, scope his ziggy to get a closer look. The last piece of news could be encouraging...we'll find out in a few years. I was under the impression (I guess I formulated this information in my own uninformed head) that it was going to take numerous surgeries throughout Bryson's childhood and teen years to fully repair his ziggy. Dr. Alpert told Nicole that it may take only one surgery (emphasis on "may") to reconstruct. It could take more...we just don't know. And we just keep praying. Beau 1/9/08 Wednesday 11:15am 1/6/08 Sunday 11:00pm We've got questions...this week we hope to get some answers. And whether or not we get the answers we want, we WILL get answers. Bryson has two appointments this week. Thursday I'm taking him to Columbus to see the plastic surgeon for an update on how his skin is healing. We hope to get the go-ahead for the prosthesis, but even if we don't we hope to get a more refined timeline. Friday Nicole takes Bryson to see the urologist for a "ziggy" check up. At that point we'll hopefully hear a little more about when his first surgery to repair his privates will be. Financially we're in a holding pattern. We've been partially approved by the Ohio Bureau for Children with Medical Handicaps (BCMH). Medically we've been approved, we're just waiting for financial approval. Two weeks ago I sent copies of some pay checks so like most other areas of our life...we're waiting. One neat story this week: While playing in the basement with the girls, Bryson began to sit on a tricycle and have Reagan push him around the basement. When Reagan quit, Bryson got incredibly upset. He yelled and cried until Nicole suggested he try to pedal the tricycle by himself. The response was natural: "I can't pedal with one foot." Nicole kept pushing him to try and then turned back to her work. With Reagan by her side, Nicole began to hear wheels rumbling across the floor and, excitedly, turned to see Bryson pedaling across the basement floor with a huge grin spread across his face. Even to this moment, I'm not sure who was more excited. Beau 12/31/07 Monday Driving home from the grocery store the other day, I looked at my son in the back seat through my rear-view mirror when a strange and sad thought entered my mind: It has been over four months since he has last walked...a thought I can hardly comprehend. In my sadness, I asked Bryson, "Are you excited to get your new leg so you can walk again?" "Yeah!" Bryson continued, "And can I ride my bike? Can I ride my motorcycle?" Bryson has never asked why he can't walk. He's never cried because of something his disability now hinders him from doing. Even when he wound up going to church this Sunday without his shoe (Daddy's fault because mommy was sick), he didn't make a stink. Last year at this time we had high hopes for 2007...and this New Year's Eve is no different. This year we look forward to: Was 2007 a disappointment? If you call really learning how much a church can care, what it feels like for God to embrace you, how spiritually, physically, and emotionally strong (in that order) your spouse is, watching proudly as your child braves adversity that you yourself knew you could never handle, and seeing how incredibly loving your one year old and two year old girls can be a disappointment, then it was incredibly disappointing! God was so so good in the midst of what many would call a disappointing year...I can't wait to see how good God is in the magnificent year that lies ahead. Happy New Year! Beau
12/22/07 Saturady 5:00pm
Conversations with Bryson Bryson will still talk on and off about his leg. Sometime he starts the conversation and sometimes I start it. I always let him talk about it, if he wants, because it lets me see how he is processing things a little better. I thought you all might be interested in some of our conversations. Me (Nicole): Bryson are you sad about your broken leg? Bryson: No, I’m not sad. I am happy. I like broken legs. I don’t want a brand new leg. I like my broken leg. Me: Don’t you want to walk with a new leg? Bryson: No, I can crawl around and hop. That’s it. He is so matter of fact about everything. I think though that he knows that I am trying to get him use to the idea of a new leg, so he wanted me to know he was just fine the way he was. I really think that getting his prosthetic might be his biggest emotional battle yet. Definitely something you can all be praying about. Another conversation: This happened when he woke up the other morning. Bryson: Mommy, I think my brand new leg is growing back. Me: Where? Bryson: Right here. (pointing to his broken leg) Me: No Bryson. Your brand new leg is not going to grow back. You are going to get a new leg that you have to put on. Remember. Like Andrew has. Bryson: Yeh, right. Andrew is my friend. Remember, he came over to play with me. I must admit, it is hard explaining these things to a 5 year old, but I think he is picking up on more than he lets on sometimes Bryson’s heart is changing now. He is very soft hearted about anybody who has an “ouchy” and loves to hear their stories about it. It will be interesting to see God use that in him someday. Another week with no appointments. As a matter of fact, we won’t have another one until January and for that we are very thankful. As soon as the Plastic Surgeon gives us the okay we will begin the prosthetic journey. That means Beau and I will need to make a decision in the next couple of weeks about which company to choose. I guess we better finish our researching pretty quickly here. We want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and pray that you are able to enjoy time with your families and that you experience more of Christ during the week ahead! Nicole
12/13/07 Thursday 11:00pm Good news! Good news! Today at Bryson's plastic surgeon's appointment, the report went from "It's not looking so good" as of two weeks ago to "It looks great!" Two weeks ago, the wound from the most recent surgery didn't look like it was healing all that well. It was a black hole...literally. The middle just looked black and it really didn't seem like it was getting any smaller. I believe it was just yesterday, maybe just two days ago, that I first began to notice the hole's shrinking size. You know, things are getting pretty ordinary now. Cleaning and wrapping my boy's "broken" leg isn't a hassle anymore...it's just what I do. I don't get irritated anymore having to carry Bryson around...it's just what I do. I don't have to carry Bryson to the restroom anymore...he just goes (in fact, he disappeared at church, into the ladies restroom in fact, when he "had to go"). It's now just ho-hum...but it's not! 3 months ago it was painful to watch my boy struggle. Last month it was a hassle because I had to do so much work. Yesterday it just was. Now...now it's an honor: to have been allowed to watch the daily transformation from a completely dependant child to an boy just aching to be independent. This boy has changed so much and I've had the honor to be the first one to see him each morning and re-wrap his bandage bandage and the one who give him the last big kiss of the day after a bath, applying the bandage, reading his Bible and saying our prayers together. It's been the hardest journey...there were days I went to be early because I JUST WANTED THE DAY TO END! But I have so much hope. Seeing how much Bryson has grown so far, and seeing how good God has been to Bryson, myself, and to His people throughout the ages, I can't help but hope that the days ahead will be even greater. Yes, this new leg thing is going to be a struggle, knowing what to say to him when he first gets ridiculed in school for only having one let, or how to respond to him when he says "It's just not fair" when he can't keep up with the other kids in sports the older he gets...but if God can send His only son Jesus to earth by means of a virgin birth, if God can bring His son back from the dead, if God can save my son from near death in a lawnmower accident, then surely, surely He can take care of my son the rest of His days. Don't know how long his days will be and don't know if they'll even be easy. All I know, ALL THAT MATTERS, is that God cares for Bryson, for us, for you. What could be even better than having the Creator of the universe caring for your every need. Hope. My early Christmas gift from God. And hope is the early Christmas gift I offer to you. Merry Christmas. Beau
12/10/07 Monday 9:00am
So, the age old question, “How are you really doing?” And the answer, “it depends on when you ask us.” Day to day we are getting by. Like many of you we are wrapped up right now in the busyness of Christmas and loving it. Christmas programs, shopping, parties, & preparations are a welcome break from all things hospital right now. We are still averaging one appointment a week, but from what we came from, this is very do-able. We have enjoyed some of our holiday traditions and just a couple of days ago we enjoyed a morning playing in the snow. The only change in that was Bryson wanting to be pulled back up the hill on the sled instead of walking on his own. He didn’t seem to notice that his snow angel looked a little different than ours, but I noticed it. And then those are the times that are a little harder. The other night I had a good cry. I cried because I couldn’t picture how Bryson looked walking anymore. That’s hard! He is getting around great hopping right now, but I long for the day to see him walk upright again. As far as the healing of his leg is going, I think it is looking better, but it is slow healing. On Thursday Bryson had another appointment with the orthopedic doctor. He seemed to think it looked good and gave us a prescription for Physical Therapy and the prosthetic so that as soon as we get an okay from the plastic surgeon we can start the “new leg” process. He doesn’t need to see us now until the end of January. Next week we have another appointment with the plastic surgeon and then in early January we have an appointment with the Urologist. Hopefully, at that appointment we will get some information about the upcoming surgery on his penis. Sometimes I forget that we still have to do this. We have an exciting tomorrow. Tomorrow we make our annual trip with our teens from our youth group and some other members from our church down to a ministry in downtown Specific things you can pray on behalf of us for: decision on which prosthetic company to choose, insurance issues, and that Bryson would warm up to the idea of a “new leg.” And because songs touch me so much, I would like to leave you with a chorus to the Phillips, Craig, and Dean song, “The blessing of the Thorn,” that has been going through my head a lot lately and which is my prayer right now.
When does the thorn become a blessing? When does the pain become a friend? When does the weakness make me stronger? When does my faith make me whole again? I want to feel his arms around me in the middle of my raging storm, so that I can see the blessing of the thorn. When you get a chance check out the words in the verses, I am sure many of you could relate.
12/1/07 Saturday 1:00pm While the kids are in the basement playing real nice together and Nicole is cracking open the boxes of Christmas decorations, it seemed like the right time to drop you a line. Thursday Nicole took Bryson to see the plastic surgeon, the one responsible for the skin graft, for another follow-up to his procedure. The surgeon seemed pleased with the leg's progress and then gave us a new healing time-line of 4 more weeks. Now for those of you who may be confused at an apparent discrepancy, let me clarify. At Bryson's initial follow-up visit with the orthopedic surgeon we were told it would be about 3 weeks from that point till we could get fitted for a prosthesis...we never did ask the plastic surgeon. The reality is, the orthopedic surgeon doesn't work with skin so naturally it wound up being nothing more than a shot in the dark. As those 3 weeks slowly passed, it was becoming very apparent to Nicole and I that the leg wasn't healing fast enough. Now we know, from the opinion of the surgeon that matters in the case of Bryson's skin graft, the leg is healing just fine. For all we know, he might have said 2-3 months from the initial surgery except that we never asked. This comes as a great relief to Nicole--and me, too. Christmases are already crazy enough with all the travel and church responsibilities that to add on the additional stresses of physical therapy and learning the new leg around home would only add to the insanity. {Deep Breath} So as it is, by the end of the day decorations will be up and the tree decorated. (We took our yearly family trip to cut down our own Christmas tree and, as always, found "The Perfect Tree"...not the Charlie Brown type.) And after the kids are down tonight, Nicole and I will make cranberry and popcorn strands for the tree as we watch the movie Elf (a small tradition of ours)...switching back and forth between that and the Oklahoma/Missouri football game...GO SOONERS! WIN ONE FOR OHIO! Beau
11/26/07 Tuesday 8:00 pm Lately I have been thinking how final things can seem and how quickly things can change. In mere moments Bryson’s leg was gone and will be gone for as long as he lives. How quickly our lives and his life changed. I started thinking of everything that is so final: losing a loved one or having a miscarriage, losing a limb, finishing a season in your life like school years, etc. Those things you can never get back. This was actually a very sobering and depressing thought. But last week God reminded me as I was walking on the treadmill, that these things aren’t so final. | |